Finally

So I figure that keeping my blog updated regularly isn't going to happen as there isn't a lot that changes for me week to week or even month to month. My healing continues on slowly. I still do experience dizziness, although it does get better as time goes on. To help the process, I started swimming again a few months ago. This was a pretty interesting undertaking the 1st time I went. While I was swimming there were times when I couldn't tell which was up and which was down. Anyone watching me would have thought "wow that girl's out of shape" as I needed to stop after each lap until the world stopped spinning on me (for almost as long as it took for me do do the lap). Strangely the back-crawl was/is harder to do then the front-crawl, which isn't at all what I expected. I think it has to do with looking up at the striped ceiling of the pool as I'm swimming. I find that patterns are the things that make me totally dizzy. It was interesting though how after the 2nd time, swimming did start to get easier. It's also interesting how I have more energy to swim now then I did in literally years. That pretty much goes for every part of my life. I can truly say that I haven't felt as good as I do now (minus the dizziness) for years, easily from before Jeff & I were married (6 1/2 years ago). Headaches are almost non-existent and my energy is back big time. The only thing that is still hard is getting used to being deaf in 1 ear (much harder then I expected).

I did have an MRI at the end of the year as well as a Doctor's appointment with Dr. Chen. It was really weird looking at my MRI before Dr. Chen looked at it. There really is a big white mass in my head. At first I was kind of freaked out by it, but Jeff figured it had to be the fat they put there during the surgery. I had thought that my body would absorb it, but then thought maybe it hadn't done that yet. Turns out that Dr. Chen was thrilled to see it all there in my head still. I have to say it was definitely a first to hear a doctor say "oh great, the fat is still all there". He said that their hope is that the fat will always stay there and the fact it's all still there was great news. The other great news is that there is no sign of any tumour activity. It was a bit of a shock to find out that I actually won't be considered cured until 10 years after my surgery. I will need to go for another MRI next fall again and if that 1 is clear then I'll have to go in 3 years and then 5 years. If after that I still show no signs of tumour, then I'll be considered cured.

When I look back on how I felt before and after my surgery I really am amazed by how great I feel now (I almost didn't remember it was possible to feel so good), but also by how truly awful I felt before my surgery. It's one of those things that the symptoms come on so slowly that you really do adjust and soon it kind of becomes normal. I had a migraine a few weeks ago on Sunday and Jeff had suggested I should stay home. I figured that I had functioned before with 2-3 migraines in a day so I'd be fine. As the migraine progressed, I couldn't believe how awful I felt and wished with every ounce of my being that I was home in my bed. I just couldn't believe that I had gotten so used to them before and how not used to them I was now. I really see that the biggest blessing in all of this is that until you know what it's like to loose your health and ability to do things, you really can't truly appreciate how great it is to be healthy. I know with time the memory of being ill will fad, but I still hope that I can remember how being healthy is such an enormous blessing and that I never take it for granted.

Sad News

So just a quick post to let you know that last week I miscarried our little baby. I was at the 18th week mark, but the doctors believed the baby died 1-2 weeks prior. I was not an easy thing to go through as I did have to be induced and deliver, but Jeff and I do take great comfort in knowing that everything happens for a reason even if the plan is not clear to us at the time.

After a long break, finally another post

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. It hasn't been a lack of things going on, but more like too much going on. Since my last post I had started to feel pretty lousy again. Fatigue had kicked into high gear and the dizziness and stumbling got quite bad again. After a few weeks of this we discovered that I am again expecting baby #4. Both Jeff & I were in a bit of shock as it's not exactly what we were thinking a month + after having brain surgery. Needless to say after the shock wore off we began to get excited. OK, it took me a little while as I had been feeling so very lousy. Thankfully the first trimester is over and the fatigue has gotten better. I still am stumbling quite a bit and some days I feel as if someone has just spun me in circles and I now have to function. I know that a lot of this is still recovery from my surgery, but I'm hoping it's just made worse by being pregnant and after this little bambino is born it'll all go back to normal.

So I have to admit to a real brain-wave moment that I had yesterday. Currently I'm in Calgary visiting Jeff (who just finished his West Jet coarse...yeah Honey!!!) . On the flight down here I got on the airplane and put on my headset for the video system. I was so annoyed since before I left the house, the headset I grabbed had 1 side of the earpiece not working. I fiddled with it for a while and tapped it, but couldn't get it to work. I actually took me about 1 1/2 minutes before I realized that the headset was working fine, it was my ear that wasn't working. I actually laughed out loud when I realized my mistake prompting the woman next to me to ask what was so funny. I actually thought of answering her, but then realized there was likely no way to explain it to her so she'd see the humour and not just feel badly to for me.

The one part of yesterday that was interesting was the actual flight. This is the first time I've flown since my surgery and didn't really think about how I'd feel. During the taxi out to the run way I started to feel kind of woozy. Then during take off (and landing later) with the plane moving around so much I started to feel really woozy and wobbly. It kind of was sensory overload. If there was a way I could have stopped the movement, I most certainly would have. Thankfully by the time we got airborne it got much better. I think that the difficultly for me is that my vision has to make up for my missing balance nerve and being in a "closed tube" with only a tiny window to look out of, I have nothing to visually focus on to steady my dizziness. By the time I landed in Calgary I was very woozy/wobbly. I was very glad I had decided to wear flat shoes as I had a bit of a difficult time staying on my feet. Thankfully I had luggage to help me steady myself. I have to say, as much as it's not a really nice feeling, I believe that when I experience these feelings it's all part of my brain adjusting and in the long run it will help. I also think that being pregnant and feeling so off balance will help speed up my recovery...only my thoughts nothing a doctor has confirmed.

In other news, my left eye has started to tear a little more. It's only in the morning and only after I sneeze. If I sneeze in the afternoon (I have slight allergies so I sneeze a bit) nothing happens, very weird. I still do have to use eye drops especially at night, but all of that has been pretty easy to adjust to...unless I forget my drops then it's really annoying to have to get out of the bed in the middle of the night to get them. Other good news is that with all 3 of my other pregnancies I would have at least 10-12 migraine headaches in my 1st trimester. So far I have only had 1, which has also been the only migraine since leaving the hospital. It really is so amazing to me. I've also been pretty much headache free since my surgery with the exception of a couple tension headaches, which happen to all of us.

That's all that is new with me. I will try really hard to not let so much time pass until my next post. Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers. Things are definitely progressing in the right direction and every time I get frustrated with my single-side deafness, I just have to think of all that has happened and how good I feel now compared to before the surgery and I feel incredibly grateful and blessed.

A "Eureka" moment

Just had to let you know that I had a "Eureka" moment today. I just realized that it's been 3 months since the last time I've had a migraine. I totally can not believe it. For the last 2 years I never went more then 3 weeks without one. How awesome! And to think Dr. Pirouzmand told me that if I was having this surgery to make my headaches better I was out of luck. I knew he was wrong then and as the expression goes "proof is in the pudding". I really have so much to be grateful for!!!

Something is going on with my tongue.

Finally a long over-due post. There still is not a whole lot new to report. Still dealing with the dizziness, nausea and fatigue. I am trying to get out and walk more often, which definitely does seem to help. It's really strange as when I walk and especially when I get my heart rate up my dizziness gets a lot worse. I'm always glad I have the stroller in front of me that I use to keep my balance.

I do have something exciting to report and that is about my tongue. It's a good-news/bad-news thing, but ultimately it will be good news. The good news is that I'm starting to get some feeling back in my whole tongue. That bad news is that it feels really weird/awful. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling but the best I can say is that it feels like when the dentist's freezing is coming out, combined with a metal taste. I actually prefer it to be totally numb, except that this means that it's on the road to recovery. Still no sign of any tears in my eye, but hopefully that will be in the "works" as well.

A little setback.

I don't have much new to report. My healing is going well from my gallbladder surgery. My abdomen is still a little tender, but not to the point that it slows me down. I have had a little setback in my recovery from the Acoustic Neuroma surgery. I'm not really sure why, but in the last week I've been much dizzier then normal as well my balance has been really off again. I at first thought it might have something to do with my cycle as I had mentioned it to Jeff last month as well. I did send a message to Dr. Chen's office and they said that they haven't heard of this with other patients. Having said that, they also said it wouldn't surprise them. Either way I'm stumbling around again and it's quite annoying. I find that the hardest thing for me to do is to hang laundry on the line outside. I guess it's a case of looking at all the colours and then also looking up makes me crazy dizzy to the point that I almost fall over. It's all good though, as the more I challenge myself to do those things the faster my brain will adjust.

1 missing Gall Bladder

Just a quick post to say that my gall bladder surgery went really well. I was at the hospital at 8:15 am and back home by 2:00. My abdomen is a little sore, but nothing that some Tylenol #3's can't fix. The Doctor thought that because of the fact that I'm already dizzy and nauseous that I'd be a lot worse after this surgery. Turns out I'm not. Other then my sore tummy and the fact I can't lift I actually don't feel any different then yesterday. Crazy thing, because the doc was expecting me to feel so bad he prescribed me some heavy duty anti nausea medication. It's actually what they give to people who are going through chemo. Jeff filled the prescription and our portion (after our drug plan) was $54. The total cost of the drug was $275!!! I had asked Jeff to still fill the prescription since this drug isn't supposed to make me as sleepy as Gravol. I thought it'd be nice to have for days when I get really dizzy. Had I known the cost, I'm not so sure I would have. Crazy!

So happy to have this surgery behind me. Hope it will be a long time before I have one again. Very thankful for answered prayers.

I was thinking today about my thought of taking surgery up as a hobby and realized that I actually think I may have already without realizing. I counted how many times I "went under the knife" and I've actually had 8 surgeries so far in just the past 14 years. I first had 2 knee surgeries when I was in my mid 20's. Then I had laser eye surgery. After that was a c-section. Then I had an exploratory surgery after Keira was born (turns out Septic shock was my problem but that's a story in itself). Then I had another c-section. Then finally with my brain surgery and now my gallbladder that makes 8. Boy, I really do need to find an easier way to get attention!